Sunday, June 13, 2010

My Decison

It is rainy all day today.
I love the sounds of rain.
It comforts me and helps me to be still and think about deep inside of my heart.

These days, I had been mentally unstiable.
I had been irritated, not feel like doing anything, always tired and sleepy.
One thing I had been doing was checking the information and watching TV program of ARASHI, my favorite idol group.
It had been only one thing that I could feel doing.

Yet it didn't help me to be steable.
I began to fear and be nervous to communicate with others.
I had been afraid of making any mistakes in the communication and being disliked.

And so, I finally decided to call for God's help.
I knew He waited for me, but I had hesitated to see Him.
I think it because I need to give up ARASHI to choose Him.
I loved ARASHI more than God, and I knew He doesn't like it.

But I knew that I need Him, not ARASHI, to get mentally steable condition.
I can love myself, other people, and my life, if He protest about my value.

So, I gave up being interested in ARASHI, at least until the end of this month.

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